The black bird returned and I could feel it’s energy and strength with each and every caw. With ease the tears fell from my eyes; my cheeks reddened and hot with the succumbed to emotion. A simple night gone dreadfully awry; too much, too much, just too damn much.
The felt feel of emotions grown furry and fuzzy due to neglect; a simple recognition now and then could relieve the dump, the out pouring, of each and every one of them. Sometimes the strength has left the building and the all night tales with Elvis penetrate it’s absence. Ahh, to be strong all the time. The caw pierced the air.
I thought for sure the bird had been a curse, that it was only there to haunt and mock me. I have come to realize that there is no jest, no intrusion, but rather a guided path to serenity. With all of it’s nagging turned to encouragement and reassurance. A simply caw again and again. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Wipe the tears away and cascade through the remaining day with some sort of direction and most of all hope. Could it really be as simple as the return of my black feathered friend? Could it really be as simple as flipping perception? Anything is better than being beaten and battered by the mere thought of existence, nevermind actually existing.
No clenched teeth. No clenched fists. No saunter of disconnect. Breast out proud. Strut done right. Knowledge of destiny sought and received. Caw on my winged brethren; caw, caw, caw.
There are much better ways, many better thoughts. A body at ease with it’s self and no more need for the ravaged muscles of resistance to exhaust the soul.
I have taken from it what I can and will and hope to.
He will fly on with one eye on me and the other fixed on the road ahead.
Caw, caw, caw …
Thank you so very much for the compliment but I do not think I am worthy of such praise.
I am just trying to get things out of my skull right now and writing is doing an ok job of it. I prefer to write when my mind is free as it gives me more freedom and creativity due to reflection not current torment.
I hope you are well and smiling. I know you must be rocking out to Rush by now.
Godspeed.
R.E. Knowlton III
Your personal sharing is so well described, you capture as always the uncanny ability to be in the precise moment of one's sight, innards, and emotive content during a moment, event or thought...
Even when you don't try, you are always entertaining the reader! He came, sat and took it away in his wings.
This for me is not only meaningful but very memorable~ Your sharing this moment has truly added to my day a dimension that were not present prior to coming here.
Thank you~
Caw-Caw-Caw! back at ya!! wink-
Love,
Anon~
p.s.-you're so vicious!! hoping this bird brought another smile to your face...caw..caw!!
Wait just one damn minute; if I don't take compliments well then I can be 'slapped like a dog'? If I ahd known this all aloong then I would have never taken a compliment well at all!
Slap me, slap me!
Woof! Woof!
I hope you are healthy, wealthy and wise!
SMILE
R.E. Knowlton III
It was a pretty horrible set of days at work recently and to see the black bird there again and to hear the calls and caws was absurdly divine. It was as if the bird knows, as if it is the same bird.
Now with you posting videos as well as words I know that there are many smiles ahead. This video made my sleepy head smile and laugh and made me feel comfortable - like sticking my head out of a window to scream at Manhattan. We rock!
I hope this finds you well and smiling.
Godspeed.
R.E. Knowlton III
all righty then...on that note...
I am glad that you like this as it was more of an emotion dump for me as that morning was not so great.
I believe that there are only minor variations between crows, blackbirds, and ravens; but I do know that ravens are one of the smartest animals on the planet beyond humans. Sounds odd but it is true! The black bird in question goes back to the re-occuring theme of the blackbird in my August and September accounts of being on the CWP programme as opposed to incarceration. They were fun loving tales of convicts, exhaustion, avocadoes, adn blackbirds. I encourage you to forage back and take a gander.
I also have a black bird type poem or two posted over at 'verses of a modern day mad man'; one of which is entitled 'Pies for Jack'.
I hope you are doing well and enjoying your class-free time.
Be well and smile.
Godspeed.
R.E. Knowlton III
~ I just posted up a pretty long British humour post over at 'y b r' - you might want to take a look if you are into that sort of thing. I warn you, it is kind of long.
Of course in my yard the squirrels pick my black walnuts off the tree and bombard us when they are interruped by their feeding as well as throwing a fit when they have babies in their homes. We have one that will let us pet him and he will eat out of your hand, but not during baby season.
Well that is my lesson for the day and I did very much like the crow story. Take care of yourself. Love Mom2
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'"
I think that we all have a black feathered Raven that incites us to our desperations. Like a monkey on our back, it follows us through our life seeking to peck at our patience and our resolve in life. Perhaps it is our turn to tell this feathered friend . . . Nevermore.
This particulair bird is definately a crow. He has followed me around since my incarceration stories back in August. He dissappears for a bit but then returns when there is something I need to recognize or rectify. This morning of which I wrote was definately one of those mornings.
Strength through the black bird. Beware of squirells.
I hope you are good and it is a pleasure being able to read your comments again.
Be well.
SMILE
R.E. Knowlton III
I like this black bird that follows me and shows me right from wrong, this simple feathered friend with caw that releases feelings long.
I have written of him many times and I do need him in some weird way to let me be me without feeling shame. Funny that a little bird, who I pretend is the same bird everytime, can do that for me. Maybe I should be 'nevermore'!
Thank you so much for the comment and the quotation as it means alot to hear from you. I am going to be posting a 'post for Adam' sometime soon over at 'y b r', so you should take a peek as I knwo you will shake your booty!
Be well and smile. Send my hellos to the family.
Godspeed.
R.E. Knowlton III
Well as Michael and I watched the Passion by Mel Gibson when it got to the part where the raven started picking out the eyes of the sinner who taunted Christ on the cross. Both my husband and I could not help but laugh at the scene and we upset many people surrounding us.
The irony of the two birds, just made it funny although the rest of the movie was different since it was from the Catholic view of things.
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we have a very different view of the importence of the Garden of Gethesemne and the ressurection. We don't rely on the cross as it is the means to the end of Christ's mortal life; where as the Atonement was before and on the cross and the resurection is the most important part of the three happenings as He broke the bands of death for all of us.
Enough of that though. I just thought you'd appreciate the laughing in the movie. The women behind us were appaled. But we knew that the raven was going right to the eyes and it was just too much of The Stand to not laugh. After all it is a Hollywood version of both movies.
Well I had better go and get some sleep I am going to attempt soap again tomorrow and I need to get my ashes leached.
I also need to go and get some fat from the local meat market. They butcher on their property. So they always have several pounds of beef for tallow. Wish me luck.
What I did wrong last time is used olive oil and apparently it won't ever turn into soap it just boils and boils away. I figured beef tallow is going to be the best and of course if I have any left we make our own suet for the birds and several different types of wood peckers have moved in. It is really cool to have them all.
Take care, I am smiling and always do when I read your blog. Love Mom2
I am laughing so hard right now while reading your comment again. I LOVE the fact that you both were laughing in the theatre during that scene! AWESOME!
By the way, I have concluded that they may indeed be ravens and not crows as they seem to be pretty beefy beasties that fly around after me. Who knows?!?!? I am sure someday it will all be clear.
I hope that you are reading the other two blogs I have going as well as one of them is just about fun and not much else. I am glad that you enjoy this one though and I will be adding a new post tomorrow as my labour intesive fun blog 'y b r' is posted for today which should offer me plenty of time tomorrow for some real nice fiction writing.
I hope you are well adn of course smiling. Be good and safe.
Godspeed.
R.E. Knowlton III
(Son)
I do....
No symbolism needed when you are as insane as I am - you know that!
I hope your day is great and filled with smiles.
I Love You.
R.E. Knowlton III