The monkeys harangue about and toss their shit towards the patrons. Hear the shrill shrieks of proud territory and the deep jungle bellows of sexual prowess?

No this is not a piece on Jane Goodall. This is our country.

Step back, the shit will soon hit the glass.

Today I learned of what could have been a dream organization and their website. However, I came home and went to their web page and found it only to be partially gratifying. Another lesson in ‘no two people think the same’.

I have to admit that I get very wound up and excited when people start professing Federalism. Any banter about reducing the Federal Government is just about the sweetest conversation I can think of when it comes to politics.

As I reflect on this ‘grass roots’ website, I crank up the tunes and flick on the light switch. I wonder if people below my open window think I am nuts. I knew there was a reason that the window stays closed 99% of the time. Close window, close.

Downsize D.C. is a website dedicated to getting rid of Big Government (http://www.downsizedc.org/). In the same hue, shade, and tone of Limbaugh, I don’t see a need to get rid of or regulate the asshole out of ‘BIG’ anything with the exception of ‘Big Government’. This website seemed like a bastion of sanity amongst the drowning waves of repetitive nausea that could coin the Federal Government a new name badge.

I was excited. I was giddy. Oh, joy be had and plundered about with grins and giggles as the children play in a perpetual state of glee.

I love glee.

I am going to reprint their mission statement as it is my experience that no one actually goes to the links I recommend or cite as source. This post could get long which will kill the other half of the readers who really only read and enjoy succinct little bytes wrapped up in a paragraph or two (these are the people that do not utilize the media as they do not make it past the header, or leader, and more often than not do not question what they read and normally don’t make it past the headline). I hope the two people that actually read this get something from it.

I know only two people will read this because I am not ‘pimping my tits’ or looking to ‘get funky’ with anyone’s bad self beyond my self.

Here it is:

"Our Mission:

We believe the federal government has grown too large, too intrusive, and too expensive. We believe in constitutional limits, small government, civil liberties, federalism, and low taxes.

We want to end laws and programs that don't work, cause harm, and violate the Constitution. We want to restore the full force of the 9th and 10th amendments, which reserve most social functions to the people and the states.

Our goal is to reduce the federal government to a tiny fraction of its current size, decentralize power, end deficits, federal borrowing, and monetary inflation, and eliminate most federal taxation and the IRS.

We intend to achieve these ambitious goals by petitioning Congress and the President to vote against or veto bad laws and programs, and to repeal old bad laws and programs.

We intend to make this petitioning effective by recruiting every American who believes in small, Constitutional government, decentralized power, civil liberties, and low taxes.

Our goal is to have millions of Americans emailing, writing, and calling their elected representatives to oppose bad laws, and to support laws that shrink the size, scope, intrusiveness, and cost of the federal government.

We will recruit these millions of Americans through the Internet, advertising, media interviews, and direct mail.

We will mobilize, direct, and express the will of the people to force the government to respond, through the sheer weight of our numbers. The success of our mission depends on you. We need you to . . .

Participate in our petitioning campaigns

Help us recruit more supporters by spreading word of our petitions to everyone you know

Contribute money so we can advertise our efforts, and thereby recruit as many supporters as fast as possible

Our approach is simple and direct.

You will be notified by email of new laws that should be either supported or opposed.

Our website will enable you to simply and quickly send a message to your elected representatives.

We will then give you a second email message to forward to people you know, asking them to email their representatives. This will cause our petitioning effort to grow.

We will use your financial contributions to recruit still more people through advertising, direct mail, and media interviews. Every new person we recruit will increase the power of your voice by increasing the pressure on our elected representatives to Downsize DC.

You will receive regular reports of our progress. We expect this progress to be steady and unstoppable.

If it were possible to create a huge army of people to pressure the politicians to Downsize DC, would you want that?

If it were possible to restore small, constitutionally limited government, decentralized power, fiscal responsibility, and low taxes, would you want that?

If it were possible that our approach was the right way to achieve these goals, would you want to contribute some of your time and money to that end?

If your answer to these questions is yes, then click here to make a contribution to our efforts. We look forward to your participation."

Ok.

If you have made it this far then you are an intelligent reader and actually looking to learn and not just gossip through a ‘poor me’ session over a ten dollar mocha-frappa-vanilla-late-expresso-light-grande with only soy, no sugar unless it is raw - just like the conversation.

Here come the real benefits: the knowledge of why I bring up this site and what it could and may mean to you.

This organization piqued my interest as I heard their president’s rap on the John and Ken Show Saturday edition. The bill at hand, the mission to be quested, the crème de la crème is the “Read The Bill Act”. The RTBA is definitely, without a doubt, a necessity when revising or twelve stepping our Federal Government.

Most Senators, Representatives, Presidents, Vice-Presidents, Aides, and Assistants ( both aides and assistants; read = lawyers) do not read the legislation that they sign. Throw that into the mix of Congressmen having an impossible 98% re-election ratio and you begin to see that infamous ice cube on top of the iceberg.

Do we really want men and women representing us via our votes to run around all helter-skelter, nillie-willie, and non-chalant scribing their nome de plumes down on the parchment that effects our everyday? Is this the power that we have carved out from the steak for them to digest? For them to get fat from? For them to smile at us about when it comes to baby kissing time, when they are shaking hands acting like they did not know any better like little school children who have broken the water fountain, or bubbler as I knew it as, all while denying they have know idea why their shirt and shorts are wet?

NO!

Ok, so they sign, sign, sign away and that is what it is. It IS time to change it. Even if I do not agree with all of what Downsize D.C. is fighting against, it is quite the noble cause.

The math doesn’t make any sense when it comes down to these midnight votes of bills that have been amended and anointed as the best thing since sliced bread. Each Congressmen would have to spend more time than what is possible to read all of this legislation that they sign up for. It is impossible. Even with a full staff of readers and interpreters they would still not grasp enough of each signatures repercussions if they were just simply briefed.

Do I give a flying fuck about Mahmood’s rights to not be wiretapped when he is using Western Union to wire tens of thousands of dollars back to an Arabian country of Islamic fervor? No.

Do I care about the cherry growers being dicked around by the government when it comes to press releases and studies of how cherries are better than some meds when used to treat certain ailments? Yes.

The monkeys blindly sign and we are left to blindly abide what their signatures prescribe.

Everything is a slippery slope. Everyone wants a perfect world. I know my daughter does. I want that world for her.

I know that the perfect world is as tangible a Valhalla and Asgard.

A road laid with tar and filled in with tacks.

Watch where you step.

Make sure you read what you sign.

It will be easier for most legislators when it is all in Spanish.

The jazz will still play but you can bet that T.V. and News will be a smidge different as the Congressmen bathe in their lack of accountability, as they do now.

Bask, bathe, boil.

Roll around in it you fat ass pigs, the pork will soon be fried.

I love bacon and so do the monkeys …