Here is something that most of you don’t know. I participated in the thwarting of a terrorist event. I helped, almost single handedly, stop something horrific from happening. It was just over a year ago. I know now-a-days that we just rather shun it all into bad memory land or discard it into the “I don’t want to see or hear it” pile, but I thought this bonus essay is a good opportunity to bring it up as well as elaborate for those who I have briefly mentioned this to.

I borrowed a copy of Kevin Trudeau’s “Natural Cures ‘They’ Don’t Want You to Know About” and thought that that in coalition with my racist buddy who sells Hoodia, or whatever that Shit is called , would make for a good little bonus piece that would allow me to talk about health and racism in one essay. America, What a Country!

Onto my fab experience in the fabulous airport world. Keep in mind this happened last February, 2005. Yes that is right, the 2005 that happened AFTER September 11, 2001.

Great googlie-mooglie!

I travel a lot to see my family. I have done such since I was 12. Twelve is my magic number. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, tweeeeeeeelve. ELEVEN! The amount of time zones in the former Soviet Union. The pin ball can mean more than the pin or the ball. Get some balls but don’t be a cologne!

Last February, when my life changed completely, I traveled to Tampa to pick up my Daughter in order to travel to my Dad’s house in Peabody ( a North eastern Suburb of Boston) for my Daughter’s fourth birthday, this was the February before last, she is now five. We traveled to Boston on the wings of the very early hours of her fourth birthday. Like Bill Cosby has said, “I’m four years old!”

I, admittedly, spent a couple days on either end to get “friendly” with a gusher that I had met in the Las Vegas airport the September before. She was nice enough to purchase me a couple drinks on the plane, returning to Tampa, and gave me a percoset or two and gave me a twenty to spend in the airport that night while I awaited my return to Orange County’s John Wayne Airport (that’s really the name, when you are there look at the statue).

When I go to see my child in Tampa, I spend the night in the airport. I can not afford accommodations. So, I spend the night reading and talking to people. I am well acquainted with the one arm bandit that works at the Burger King (the only restaurant open 24-7 at Tampa Airport), the floor cleaners, the tram security and the TGIF bartenders. I have met lots of people from Tampa and elsewhere that have made my stay pleasant. It is amazing what a few bar flies and floor scrubbers and register punchers can do for the sanity of a man’s stay in an airport.

Ophelia, where have you gone? I hope it isn’t just the extent of Dan Akroyd’s pants!

So we had a seven a.m. flight. I was there all night reading the paper back version of the 9-11 Report and a bit of John Updike’s book “Couples”. Adam - read this and the “Q” letters.

My ex wife arrived and graciously handed over the munchkin. The smiles my daughter’s face can explain while looking and running to Daddy is amazing. I really am a privileged man to be the Father of a Daughter. I know a Son would spit too much!

If you are unfamiliar with Tampa/St.Pete Airport then you are missing out. It is a hub. On either side there are elevator towers taking you to where you need to go. There are escalators in the center to bring you up and down as well. The parking garage roof tops of smokers descent are phenomenal as you can watch the tower and the planes take off but also you can gaze into the windows of the airport hotel and pretend to be E. Howard Hunt.

Ok, so it is about 5:15 on a fabulous February morning. Tampa Airport requires that you take one of the six spoke trams out to the individual terminals and then go through security. You are required at Tampa to show ID at least three times. So my daughter and I (dressed in my ultra fab black suit of superiority) walk up around 6 a.m. to the Tram train guard in order to show ID and get to the terminal that is appropriate to the departure point of destination.

Upon handing ID’s and itineraries to the tram guard , I was approached by an Asian woman with a guitar case that was duct tapped closed. She asked if I was going to Boston. I said yes. She insisted that I take this guitar. The ID checker stated that she had a relative that could use it. The Asian woman asked if she was going to Boston, she said no. I said that I was not going to take it. She repeatedly asked about my Boston destination. I repeatedly said I was not going to take the case. The Asian women carrying the case grabbed the case back and exclaimed that if no one going to Boston was going to carry the case she was going to keep it. She grabbed the case and ran away. This was going on while L.A. radio was talking about the Chinese nuclear scientists taking a cab through Mexico and mentioned nuclear weapon secrets. The guitar was supposedly a good guitar!

I mentioned this to the tram security who was more bummed out of the lack of guitar acquirement. I then mentioned it to the security affiliates of the NSA/TSA. Three of them at the detectors that denied me and were much more concerned about my shoes setting off a detector. I had just traveled the night before and knew my shoes were not setting off Jack Shit! I guess protocol is more important. No need to ask Asian women about duct tapped guitar cases that are being pushed upon passengers harder than amway.

I was at a wrong gate when I got down to the Jet Blue ramp. A stewardess asked me where I was going. She directed me to the right gate. I mentioned the Asian duct taped guitar case to her and her jaw dropped. We exchanged 9-11 stories. She was at JFK in NYC the day of the attacks. I had watched live as I had come home from a graveyard shift.

Ninety minutes later we boarded after the Jet Blue rep had told me that she had told the TSA manager who looked into it. I told her that I would not board if I saw a guitar case.

I was told by that rep that the case had "very, very dangerous materials". I was thanked. When I boarded my daughter was sang “Happy Birthday” by the whole plane at the prompting of the rep on the intercom.

Thank you Jet Blue!

Thank you Boston!

Tampa - fix it!

I am happy to help and hope that most will help as much as that stewardess!

Drink ‘em down, listen to the Goats, read the Pushkin, and know where it comes from.

Do the dugs dig dug?

Until Monday rock on and out …

Dance, dance, dance, uh huh. Ok, the floor sparkles with nonsensical glitter as the skirts fly high and the men gallantly hide out of insecurity. Another night in Club Current Events. Funny how I can’t seem to keep my fingers away from the keyboard on a night that requires a post.

I have come to terms with a bit of my isolated feelings regarding politics and the headlines are to blame for my new need to assimilate. Today had one extraordinary news story that scares the shit out of me, like the stale air in a whoopee cushion. The rest of the stories made me laugh my ass chapped thus drawing me out of my BBQ cave. Greasy hair and all, baby!

This morning at about 8:40 a.m. I heard a radio story about Iran. You know, the “Best Democracy in the Middle East”. They have just issued a new identification code (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1634857/posts). Scarlet Letter and the Holocaust beware and move on over, here comes Iran. They have decided all Jews will be required to wear a yellow stripe of cloth strip across their front. Christians will be required to do the same but it must be in red. Who is consulting Islamic Republic of Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Queer eye for the Religiously Racist and Genocidal Guy? How many color choices were thrown about at the table before they chose? Or did they just go to their copies of Hate Crimes and Ethnic Cleansing for Dummies (pocket edition of course)? Did someone channel Hitler’s “Guide to Being a Prick“? Next thing you know all Homosexuals will be required to wear pink stripe strips (this is why pink triangles are used it is what Hitler used along with the yellow Stars of David). The only thing lacking here, beyond actual shapes, is intelligence. But they are the “Best Democracy in the Middle East”. Someone get Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a Shapo, I think Tupperware still sells them!

Onto the ridiculous and absurd. I love when the world is beyond bizarre as it makes me feel not so alone …

The Des Moines Register (http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060516/LIFE02/605160389/) is reporting about a Dyersville, Iowa woman named Mary Wohlford. She has got a new tattoo. It was ink etched into her epidermis across her chest. She is eighty years old. The tattoo reads, “Do Not Resuscitate”. She would like to have her last wishes honored and not end up like a Grandma version of Terry Schiavo. She told the Register, “People might think I’m crazy, but that’s OK, sometimes the nuttiest ideas are the most advanced”. I can relate. The whole “in a world ruled by the insane the sane become insane” theory based on the Anton Chekhov short story “Ward No. 2”. I used this theory/premise to write my first novel. I also do not want to be a machine breathing squash either. Mary says, “I don’t believe in lawyers too much”. Well, she needs to start believing because lawyers are saying her tattooed "living will" won’t be held up. I don’t think that is a boob joke.

Speaking of older women, here in L.A. we have a new Bonnie and Clyde except this time it is Bonnie and Bonnie and the Homeless. Two seventy year old women were arrested the other day for suspicion of fraud and murder. It seems, according to the L.A. Times (http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-homeless19may19,0,5341822.story?coll=la-home-headlines), that Olga Rutterschmidt and Helen Golay have been taking out life insurance policies on homeless men that they have exchanged signatures for temporary housing with. Two of the men have been killed in hit and run accidents. Mowed down on skid row, what a way to go. These men were killed almost six years apart and the cases were previously considered not related. Two detectives, during a chance meeting in a police conference room, began exchanging case stories and realized the similarities. This led them to find out that 19 policies have been claimed amounting to over 2.2 million dollars. That’s right “million”. Police are now trying to figure out wether or not the women are responsible for driving through the men. Who said the homeless were worthless?

Homeless comes to mind and I think ILLEGALS. Silly me. Two new bytes of ILLEGAL news will be directed to websites as I know most people are tired of reading my rants about it. GrassFire.org (http://grassfire.org/) is putting up billboards that say “Stop the Invasion” and you can donate to the cause. The other is a set of two sites, Don’t Speak for Me (http://dontspeakforme.org/) and You Don’t Speak for Me (http://youdontspeakforme.com/). They are sites set up by Latino Americans that are fed up with ILLEGALS and the shenanigans that have ensued regarding the debate. Read on!

Just don’t dial those numbers, says USA today - the most homogenized pile of vomit in print. All of the numbers you call have been handed over to the evil empire. Ohhhhhh … ewwwwwww … ahhhhhhhhh. Run wild in the streets out of fear and hysteria (no, not Def Leppard). There is an article at NewsBusters.org (http://newsbusters.org/)  that lifts the lampshade for a little light to be shed on this riotous article from a few days back. It would appear as though not all of the numbers are being shared and the very liberal Democrat reporter got confused or his facts mixed and messed up. Tussle those facts around donkey boy. Facts are not gelled up strands of hair in a Flock of Seagulls concert. Step away from the printed Aqua Net! I am just curious if ANYBODY remembers J. Edgar Hoover? Why does everyone think this is new or illegal? The Supreme Court in ‘97 or ‘98 said it wasn’t. I get why people are upset … they haven’t studied their history or kept up with the times.

Keep up with the times Devil and dance, dance, dance. It seems as though Saddam Hussein can get published and I can’t! His romantic history fiction novel called “Devil’s Dance” is now being published in Japan (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,195285,00.html). The publishers and translators are hoping that it is made into a musical to be shown on Broadway in the heart of the country that is Saddam’s enemy. Pinch me. Am I awake? That’s it; I’m turning to genocide, torture, rape, and the capturing of countries so I can get a book out there. I think I have the “fox hole” hair and beard to do it too!

All I can think of is Dick Nixon saying, “cocksucker” in that muffled cheek arrogance of defiance and deception. All of tricky Dick’s anger and frustration fueled into the over pronunciation of that sinful little moniker. Cocksucker!

Calgon, Calgon, take me away and bath me right through the darkest of nights. Wrapped in a swaddling cloth and lay me down to die. Do not wake me for I do not know what I will say and can not be responsible for what I do. Paging Mr. Menendez, paging Mr. Eric Menendez.

Too much coffee once again. Too much chitter chatter jibber jabber. Let the dice be rolled and shut down the table. Black Jack Baby, I’m on fire!

Two good quotes to lick and lather up, and down as well:

“It is by freeing the mind from external influences, whether casual or emotional, that it obtains power to see somewhat of the truth of things.”, Aleister Crowley.

“Our goal is to discover that we have always been where we ought to be.”, Aldous Huxley

Dance bitch, dance!

Monday will, I assume, be another day. But we all know about "assume". You and me, you and me …

Wednesday back again. Endless cycle of in and out. I am debating trying to get Wednesday taken out of my week. Six days seem so much better. Hump day just means I still have three days of work left. It is not even my middle.

I listened mostly to rock and roll radio today. I tried to stay away from talk. I am simply very tired of having to defend myself and my view points to people. You would think, based on people’s reactions, that I am some sort of frontal lobe troglodyte or some mental midget. That I am a cave man with long, greasy, brown hair dragging women into a cave to force into their reproductive role all while killing any one who is different. Other than barbecue that is just not true. Everyone has their own take on reality. This depends on where they come from, what they have done, what has been done to them, where they get their information, what they are willing to believe, what their interests are and so on and so on and so on. Why does everyone want to simplify it down. Why does everyone have to have everything and anything as easy as possible.

There is an auction going on in New York from May 19th - 20th . Many of Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio’s personal items will be on the bidding block. I am NOT a big baseball fan. The closest I get to liking baseball are drunk afternoons at Fenway Park and chuckling over the frozen head of Ted Williams. I have a lot of respect for DiMaggio though. Right in the middle of not only his fabulous baseball career but also WWII he enlisted in the Army. They are auctioning off his dog tags. They are from either 1943 or 1944 and the starting bid is $5,000. He wasn’t drafted. He enlisted. There is something to be said about a man in a successful career that probably could have avoided the war entirely who chooses to defend his country. Was it Vietnam that ruined that? Or was it the easy way out apathy that is propagated ad infinitum with generation after generation. We have become a pathetic nation of selfish beasts. My hat is tipped to any man in the service. Contact me and I will buy you a drink. I have more respect for one man in the services than I do a whole planet of Cindy Sheehans. By the way she is too busy to buy her son a gravestone. She is too busy hob knobbing with politicians and buying her new car. She is an ungrateful BITCH! Just ask her ex-husband, I am sure he will agree.

I am just picking stuff out of Time magazine (the magazine I have subscribed to since 1997, that I read cover to cover) as I haven’t done that in awhile. Someone recently accused me of not reading it at all even though about once a month I do one of these “Time” essays.

Something else of interest that was on the Notebook page along with the DiMaggio snippet was a brief mention of the cannabis rally on April 20th University of Colorado. Campus security, under the guise of trespassing laws, took photographs of students attending the rally. They then posted the photos on line and offered a fifty dollar reward for their identities. To think that people are bitching and complaining more about a data bank of numbers that has been blown out of proportion as opposed to this. We collectively have our heads so far up our asses that we are choking on our pompadours.

Time did ten questions with Mary Cheney and it was done SOOOOO much better than the asinine Primetime interview with Diane “I’m An Idiot” Sawyer. I think she sums up the bigger person point of view with the statement, “It’s not a political tool. It’s my life.” I watched all of the Presidential debates in 2004. I was appalled by the jabs by Kerry and Edwards in regards to Mary’s lifestyle and sexual orientation. It was the last straw in my mind. Due to the “Big Dig” in Boston (a brain child project of Kerry’s) I had not intended to vote for them anyhow, never mind my political affiliation (I think out my voting decisions), but the Cheney digs sealed the deal.

One of my bosses today realized that I not only voted for Bush but that I am also a registered Republican. She was not happy. I was not happy that it came up. I try to keep my politics to myself these days beyond this blog. Again, it is just to hard to argue and debate how and why I think what I do. I normally get sick and end up in bed for days after I am forced to volley ideas back and forth. I am stubborn and adamant. No one thinks they are wrong. I listen and try but it takes too much energy. I rather have the energy for other interests. Yes, I have other interests.

There was a letter sent into Time by a German man named Don Kang. He pretty much offers up the opinion that if Islamic fundamentalists focused as much anger, time, and energy on changing the injustice within their social communities that they did in regards to the Mohammed cartoons that they would be a people that were much better off. I couldn’t agree with him more.

There are other great stories in this week’s Time (May 22nd, 2006). The Big Auto demise. The letter from Iran. Lives of Iraqis. The “secret” spy net. I will leave those for another post. There are two other stories within it’s pages that I would like to take the time to address now though.

The appointment of Michael Hayden to the top CIA seat. The big hubub from what I can tell is that he is military. Ok. The CIA should be led by a career military man. The whole purpose and function of the CIA is a military one. Who do they want to head it up? An ILLEGAL immigrant? A Burger King manager? How about Rosie O’Donnel? Or even better, how about Grimace? I think that big purple witch-a-ma-call-it should run the CIA. Then we will know where the Hamburlger and the Fry Guys are at all times. That is more important than global intelligence. I am going to write a letter to the White House and suggest it. Maybe the cabinet can be replaced by the Muppets while we are at it. I think those guys from up in the balcony could do a great job advising the President. The Swedish Chef could be our new Secretary of State. One big, happy, and furry administration. While I am at it can I recommend that any new Supreme Court nominees be chosen from the Smurfs. I think that would be smurfy!

The other article worth mentioning at this time, without making me exhausted and nasty, is the article about the crime wave that has been going on in New Orleans for years. Murder, murder, murder, kill, kill, kill, take nuts and bolts out Ferris wheels (Ferris - iron - FE; thank you chart of elements!). I guess it is ok to commit felonies in New Orleans because you don’t do time. I wonder how my little legal wrangling would have played out if I had been living there? FBI agent Jim Bernazzani was deployed there a mere four months before Katrina. He stayed in his office as two thirds of the roof was blown away. He is still there. He is quoted in the article as saying, “When a community feels the judicial system has failed, a second system kicks in, and killings beget killings beget killings”. Gangs with catchy names like the Dooney Boys and the even better 3 ‘n’ G run the whole damn city. Gangstas with even catchier names like B-Stupid (that is real! his name is Ivory Harris, he is 21) and Caveman (Jonathan Williams) rule the streets with their AK-47’s and their 9mm’s. I guess if you are a witness or offer testimony in their trials you or your family are blown to smithereens. How pleasant. New Orleans has become the ol’ west. Law and Justice handed down by the juvenilely ignorant criminals. So in and out they go and never serve any time. The FBI, the ATF (jeesh, I don’t like them) and the local police, under the guidance of Bernazzani , are now sharing information and trying to get things under control by eliminating the “baddest bad guys”. BRAVO Bernazzani, BRAVO! I guess it isn’t Katrina killing everyone in New Orleans, it is gang member murderers with hokey monikers.

I am befuddled about the DaVinci code success. I am even more confused as to why Albinos are up in arms over the film, along with the Catholics. I guess the villain is an albino and that pisses off the pigmently impaired. Everyone has to bitch. It is easier to bitch then to just let some things go. The one good thing I was taught growing up was that you have to pick your battles. I guess they didn’t get that memo from my Mother.

Speaking of advice, I would like to offer John McCain a bit. DROP DEAD! He is a weasel with his little ferret eyes and his pasty bloated face. Tuck in that fourth chin Senator, you are making me sick. If he runs for President in 2008 I will vote for anyone else and that includes Snydly Whiplash! McCain says it isn’t amnesty but you can call it what you want. He says we can even call it a banana if we want. A banana? Is he smoking banana peels? What the hell is he talking about. I am calling Delmonte, I am sure Bobby Banana would like to know about this slanderous attack. What do you call McCain and Kennedy at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

By the way you can send Senator McCain a banana if you would like. Just go to the John and Ken Show website (http://www.johnandkenshow.com/). They are against banamnesty as I have mentioned before.

On the subject of “smoking banana peels” I would like to mention a group of four men from Philadelphia known as The Dead Milkmen (http://www.deadmilkmen.com/). There is a song on their Beelzebubba album called “Smoking Banana Peels” along with other great hits like “Punk Rock Girl”, “Sri Lanka Sex Hotel” and “Stewart”. If you have never heard of the group or their music go buy any of the albums up to and including “Metaphysical Graphiti” they are all well worth the moohlah and pertain to everything in today’s society just as much as they did upon their release dates. Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick, why do you think they call it a burrow owl?

Frustrated, angry, upset. I have too many people that I know that are eating me alive. I am whittling out these soul cannibals and hoping that at the end of the day it is my lady and my daughter with me in the sun, with no humidity of course.

Want a cup of coffee? I’m buying.

The pot will be a’ brewing on Friday night. Hopefully I will be in a much better mood. Hopefully the world will just settle down …

I just finished watching the Presidential Address. Did any of you watch? I almost wish I hadn't. I had a long weekend of computer problems and house cleaning and to end up my glorious two day hiatus from the work force with some Presidential quasi-infomercial was, well, um, disapointing to say the least.

I sat down with my legal pad and my bright red ball point to jot down some of the spouting as I figured it would end up being the subject of my Monday ranting and raving. Two and a half pages of notes and margin reference and just over sixteen minutes of time spent and the talking head/spokeshole/pundits began their yapping. I am starting to compare the jibber jabbers to the Knights Who Say Nicht from Monty Python's Holy Grail film. Ouch! Holy Grail! I watched too much of that crappola (notice I didn't use shit? Ooopps! Damn it!) last night and I am convinced that Monty Python probably has the most realistic take on it all.

One quick side note before the notes of our President's ballet act. I recently received a gift from my Father. I am not sure if I have mentioned it here before but I am mostly Scottish. Just four generations before me my family lived on an Island named Mugdrum Island and we were quite the clan of proud Scots. My Father's gift was mailed out in a box and wrapped in news print. I opened it up to find my Great Grand Father's Fez. He was an esteemed Shriner and Free Mason and there it was, my own little piece of histroy. It was folded up into it's original felt pouch with gold tassle draw string. A Free Mason's seal of arms and some latin around it, it is a pretty awe inspiring relic. My Bumper Jackson was quite an amazing man. He served in WWI. He lost his leg and had a wooden peg leg much like a pirate and with this leg he hiked half way up Mt. Everest. He died the first year that I was on this fabulous planet. I mention it becasue one of the grail documentaries I watched last night mention the theory of the Free Masons being actually formed by a few surviving Knights Templar that had sought out refuge in Scotland and with them came the grail. Anyone who could lead me to some "GOOD" sites about the Free Masons it would be greatly appreciated.

Back to the tip toe ballet pirouette act through the tulips known as ILLEGAL immigration ...

The President opened the hallucination with asking "for a minute of our time". Right off the bat the man is coming off like a telemarketer selling me time shares at Hacienda ILLEGAL. Come on. Isn't there a better way to start out. Who wrote this little intro anyhow? It seemed as though the whole sixteen plus minutes went on with this very informal vibe that I thought made the issue seem impotent and the President very lackadaisical.

He made a reference in the following minute of how ILLEGALS are living in "the shadows of our society". Must have been no sun out during those trillion man marches and demonstrations on May Day. Shadows my ass! Oopps, there I go again with my potty mouth.

He then states that we are a "Nation of immigrants" (notice he did not say ILLEGAL immigrants) and that we need to "enforce our laws". Immediately after saying that he proclaims that this is not a contradiction. I scratched my head and wondered if Jerry Garcia, Wavy Gravy, Ken Kesey, and Shel Silverstein were under the desk intravenously giving him numerous micro grams of LSD. My mind shot out to the anecdotes of when the Dead appeared on the Playboy Penthouse show with Hugh Heffner back in the day and how Hugh's coke was served to him in a sealed, guarded, and unopened can due to his fear of psychedelics. Hey, President Bush - It Was and Is a Contradiction!

He then started down the many paths of his "five objectives". Jeesh! Another outline. What happened to well written discourse that made a point not this grocery list abbreviated rubbish that passes as communication these days?

"Objective One" is to secure the borders. Amen! He claims that he will be adding another 6,000 Border Patrol agents by 2008 bringing the grand total tally to 18,000. Until then he will implement an emergency request effort and offer up 6,000 National Guard soldiers until the new Border Agents can be trained and the funding can be cleared. He claims that the National Guard will be there in an "assist" role and also help build fences while the Border Patrol will be the real enforcers. Ok. As long as the National Guard gets phased out and the Border Patrol (the one's who should be doing the job, not the National Guard) become THE ones protecting and guarding the border. He also claims that Mexico is our friend and that they will be enforcing from the other side. That is the most rancid shit sandwich of fantasy that I have ever been told to take a bite out of! I KNOW that El Presidente Fox is NOT going to do jack shit. It is much too beneficial for him to have things just the way they are. Again, what drugs is Bush on? He ended this objective on a good note though. He claims that the OTM (other than Mexicans) that are captured and released will now be sent back to their countries of origin as opposed to being released on the terms of showing up for a court date in the future that none of them actually report for. The trouble about his statements on this point is that he said "some countries". MMMMMM. I want a list of what countries we are sending people back to and what countries fleeing little interlopers get to participate in the catch and release program. Fire up the skillet, I'm frying 'em all. Nothing is getting released from my boat, not even the little ones!

"Objective Two" is all about the temporary worker program blah, blah, blah. Do you have a few months for me to rattle on about this one? This is the first time though that I began to think his proposal made sense, I'll give him that. Well, until Objective Four, then my gag reflex began to do back flips.

"Objective Three" is the holding employers accountable objective. This one makes sense on the surface. Documentation needs to be checked so an unforgeable digital fingerprint ID card will be set up for employers to legitimatize the presence of their work force. Then I started to think about blue cards and gold cards and green cards and all of the other rainbow brite/skittles creations that Senators on the State and Federal level have come up with. GAG! Somersaults before the back flips.

"Objective Four" is the what the hell do we do with everyone already here objective. He starts out by saying that letting everyone here already just become citizens "is amnesty and I oppose it." He says that deportation is not the answer either and that we need a "middle ground". He declares that all currently ILLEGAL immigrants who show that they have significant time and roots here will have to pay a penalty, pay their back and current taxes, and learn English in order to be up for citizenship. They will also be required to go to the back of the citizen to be line but be allowed to remain here while they go through the process and settle up with the other three requirements. This again is, I guess, the compromise solution but it still requires alot of financial effort on our government's part (i.e. tax dollars, your tax dollars) in order to determine and collect fines, determine and collect taxes, and teach English as well as administer the testing. All of these things already have over burdened bureacracies that will require huge funding for new employees and departments. In addition to that we will need to verify the vague requirement of established presence and "roots". I want to hear more about this. By the way two days spent in front of the DMV in Santa Ana, CA and a couple hundred bucks gets ANYONE a license and a new identity. How hard will it be for people, who already depend greatly on forged documents and paperwork, to obtain proof of being here for x, y, or z amount of years? Pretty damned easy! The back flips ensue!

"Objective Five" is the Melting Pot Objective. YAY! We are "one nation of many peoples". We ALL need to "respect the flag" and "read and write English". I am sick of this argument that we all just need to get along and take in everyone from everywhere under any circumstance. For all of you that disagree with me I will offer you some fuel to discredit me with: On the album "New York" by Lou Reed (who I really, really do love and enjoy - solo stuff, none of that Velvet Underground garbage, especially with Niko - UUGGGHHH!) he sings the ultra fab liberal lyrics, "Give us your poor, your tired, your hungry, we'll piss on 'em; that's what the statue of bigotry says" I'll give Lou a break as this album had a lot of focus on the death of Warhol. Plus, "Romeo had Julliette" and "Xmas in February" are PHENOMENAL songs.

Bush concluded with directly addressing both the House and the Senate. He urged them to have a "reasoned and respectful tone". He reiterated that we need a "comprehensive bill". He then went on to tell the story of Master Gunnery Sergeant Guadalupe (sorry I have no idea how to spell this man's last name), a twenty five year plus career Marine who was injured quite substantially in Iraq. MSG Guadalupe's two wishes upon meeting the President in the infirmary were to have the Corporal who saved him be promoted and to finally become a citizen. MMMMM. Is anyone else scratching their head. I thought the French Foreign Legion was the only knuckle head organization to accept foreigners into it's ranks. I need to look more into this policy as I don't think it a good idea to have foreign nationals in our armed services. What did our President do? He stood "proudly" by his side as he was finally sworn in as a citizen. Jeesh Louise! (Notice I am doing my best to "keep it clean" ?)

His final three statements were: that we are "One Nation under God. Thank You and Goodnight." How many liberals are going to attack the God thing on this one since he offers up a pretty non conservative/very moderate plan to fix ILLEGAL immigration?

By the way what was he looking up and to his right at the whole time? It made me think of a dirty joke with a Jim Morrison reference to recording studio fun but that is for another post.

Just for the record, anything up until now in this piece that appears in quotations with the exceptions of: GOOD (paragraph 3), the Lou Reed album and song references (paragraph 13), and keep it clean (paragraph 14); are direct quotes from the President during this address. I sat and took notes, remember?

I have been drinking alot, I mean ALOT, of coffee these days and I am a bit more feisty but with a smidge more restrain. I guess I am a contradiction too.

I think I am going to forget about the whole ILLEGAL issue. Instead I am going to don Great Bumper Jackson's Fez and go grail hunting. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Until Wednesday when maybe, just maybe I'll write something worthy of reading beyond the four walls of my "office with a Fez" ...

Today was another fabulous day spent missing work and participating in the legal system.

Today, with all of the ILLEGAL immigration talk and the upcoming Bush speech coming on Monday (you know that Monday will be HOT here on young, broke, and republican) I opt to wait for the beginning of the week. Nothing will change over the weekend.

So much, so much. Should I buy a brick? No. I rather just not shop at or dine at business that support the cause and write my essays and send letters to our representatives as well as the White House.

I could get knee deep into the almighty ramble of the phone number collection algorithm or matrix being created. I could argue around the merry go round regarding wiretaps. All I know is that if all of these public cell phone jibber jabbers are worried about privacy then they should shut up while interfering with my public!

If you don't get that joke, don't bother arguing with me about it. It was wasted humor, as it is with some in any case.

I personally experienced the perpetuation of the ponzi scheme known as "social services". It would appear to me that court mandated programs to benefit the accused of "disease" crimes are really there as a form of job security for LCSW's (Licensed Clinical Social Workers). I could go in so many different directions on this: all of you will think I am nuts if I go off on this one, so, well, um, mums the word.

All I do know is that once you are in the system you are in for life. It is easier for the social service departments to justify the catch 22 of "in and out" as nothing more than the lack of dedication to improvement of some and the ineptitude of others. They should actually look at how much restriction and persecution spit out like alien acid upon the detoriorating faces of men and women that just want their pasts rectified and to be able to move on. Espeacially when trials go on and on and on. Next thing you know, as an accused citizen, you are at least a year out from your actual date of criminal action; and that is if you are VERY, VERY LUCKY!

All of us see homeless people hung about the street corners like forgotten Christmas tree decorations or a child's toy flung under the couch for another day.

There are two types of homeless:

There are those that just don't give a shit. YES, they are out there and they make up half the population of homeless. These are the really free homeless, who could shower up and get a few garments and make it happen even if it means rolling burritos with Paco at the Taco Bell or graveyard floor buffing in a supermarket with Evan from Sao Paulo. I have no sympathy for this variety.

Type two is what the LCSW's and the greedy ass corrupt justice system in this country would love to perpetuate. They are the ones forced into programs and rehabilitation and formal probation based on the fear mongering propaganda that brands into our cerebral cortex that Jail or Prison is nothing more than a rape den and violence cube worthy of Sadaam Hussein's Iraq. Most prisons are not cut of this cloth. Some are that type and are much worse but it is much more financially beneficial to the social services and justice departments in fees and court costs and over all grab and run from the tax payers social understanding and compassion money to scare people into believing that, so they participate in these asinine programs. This makes no one's lives better sans the social worker and their paycheck.

Hype, hype and brouhaha, right? WRONG!

How is one man doing well supposed to participate in a program that limits him to one day of work per week. Does this make one confident, full of pride, and motivated enough to be productive in society? NO!

It slaps them into a place of return and capture. It makes them infantile and futile thus letting them wallow and seethe in a din of disrespect and finger pointing of accomplishments lacking.

I am all for programs. Self help. Guidance. Division of responsibilty for another man's actions in order to understand how we all interact and coincide with each others fates. I get "ONE". Do you?

I am no salmon. I need not be returned. I have eliminated evil from my life. I struggle, as we all do, to get from A to B. I do not need to relive past horrors in order to perpetuate gossip agendas and accomplish false goals. I do not need a pity party. By the way AA meetings are an hour and a half not just an hour anymore. Go to one. I think we all should before we weigh in on addiction, group mentality, cults, or structured resilience.

As I have said time and time again, LIFE IS NOT EASY. If it were than we would not experience pain which in turn would not generate growth and there would be no change and we would all be nothing more than soup in a puddle.

Ask Steven Hawking if he let any sort of pain or lack of ease keep him down.

You - can't - keep - me - down,  you can't keep me down! - Thank you ST! Mike Muir should be here to kick everyone's ass! He is a liberal democrat Latino gang member turned musician. Oh wait - I am supposed to be generalized and stereo typed! DAMN, I blew my cover!

I just don't understand how we, as a society that promotes our Judicial system and approves our Judicial leaders, can justify the reprimand of our fellow citizens in order to profit from shortcomings. I understand criminal acts, but to cast one into an downward spiral that spins faster than the one he is already in seems pretty futile and moot to me. I guess it does not to those with the most to gain: those in social services.

If you are released into a worse situation due to legal constraints and meant to achieve virtually un achievable levels unless you are on welfare or a state subsidized program than how are you meant to achieve greater heights than the ones you went in with? You can not. This, then, suffocates the light of hope and thus spins you about face into the den of evil and decadence, which puts you back in front of the judge that you initially appeared in front of who , based on his/her personal drunk/drug experience, leads you down a much darker road.  Again, someone explain to me how that is a benefit or an achievement beyond the paychecks received in/by rehab centers, LCSW's, or "counselor"s?

If you are homeless or own your own business of feebly functionality or are a celebrity/politician/mega conglomerate corporate advisor this works. For anyone else trying to carve out a thick rich slice of the American pie it does not work. You end up being nothing more than a soup kitchen gollum seeking out refuge in your free loading sober living house and hoping no one notices that you are a neighbor and getting by.

Quite screwed up , huh?

No, no, I am insane and hate addicts and the homeless and everyone else. I should care more once I begin to rot in Hell!

Too bad hell doesn't RSVP.

I'll be fine.

I treat people OK.

I smile and ask that of others. I listen.

I couldn't give a FUCK what the rest of my critics think.

Hell, has plenty of room.

Shalom in the home isn't a pervert renting out the garage.

We wonder why Hell is an antiquicated idea that we fear. I saw "Little Nicky."

Pineapples hurt when shoved through the maid skirt.

Til Monday, you all still have me and I am here damn it. We are ALL human beings! I mean no less than any of you ...