I spent all day yesterday transferring and saving essays to be published at a later date and found that I had not done a conveyor line, round robin, lazy Susan, Helter Skelter of news in a while. I also learned a little more about the cleverly crafted co-sine wave that has become the style ebb and flow and structure construct that I have fancied while writing these pieces. So, onto the headline flambé.

I’ll hit the ‘Big Boys’ first as that seems only fair.

First up Fox News online (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,205244,00.html) offers up a scary, check the closet, leave the night light on, pull the covers over your head story about the teetering status of the energy crisis. California is in one. There have been black outs in Queens for weeks. St. Luis has 237,000 customers sweating storm damage and hoping for resolve. Phoenix, AZ has seen temperatures as high as 118 which is a plus six record setter. California, North and South, is humid, humid, humid. We’re all melting away and the energy supply is not enough to be able to handle the demand. It is so serious that even simple economic terms like demand take on horrible, evil connotations. Last week, California Governor Schwarzenegger recommended that we set ALL of our thermostats to 78 degrees. Arnold can piss off and get away from my front door. Arnold better be talking about us ALL. I use minimal power but when I want my damn megawatts, I WANT my megawatts.

I’m quite sure it is all about Global Warming and I am sure this will be a marker year for the lunatic left doomsayers. They will look fondly back on this summer as the ‘indicator’ time. As the core molten mess turns inside out and consumes us with sun fire and death, the globo-freaks will be singing hymns about how damn right they are. Until then I am running my AC at night and on my Sun - Mon weekends.

The AP reporter and Arnold and everyone else will have to come to my house and physically adjust the power because I live modestly and when I want a little luxury, it is mine for the taking.

Over at NPR (http://www.npr.org/?pageDepth=2), they are trying to glorify my week starter with a fabulous story about Tony Hawk which plays only second to the picture of Condi Rice at the top of their web page. I normally don’t find much of interest at NPR but occasionally I find a good arts piece or something that will make me laugh. As I scroll past Skater Dude’s mug I find other high quality stories. A big article about electrical devices hooked up to baby skulls so we can learn how they speak. Yep transference from heard to spoken along with nifty electric doodads. Onto a story about tough broads in Washington DC playing full contact football on their team called the ‘Divas’ which will being going to their ‘Super Bowl’. Volunteer body collectors in Iraq (which I think Time Magazine wrote about four months ago). How Moe Dunham is jamming philosophical with his Hammond B-3, Star Trek fans living long and prospering, and (of course) an article on Charlie Chaplin. NPR really stretching for a socialist figure to ramble about but, ‘touche’, you’ll always have Charlie. The conclude their Monday A.M. runner with a story about how jelly fish are taking over an area that ahs been over fished. Wow! What would I do without NPR?

CNN’s big top ten stories had a lot to take in (http://www.cnn.com/index.aol.html). Of course Hizballah at the top. But right in the bottom half of the top ten we find out, not only about Richard Hatch going into jail (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? - CNN is now officially the Cranium Meltdown Network - CMN), but also a man who was assaulted by a 800 lb., 14’, Marlin that they were fishing for. The man is going to be ok. Bermuda Marlins have attitude. Someone at PETA or the Committee for A Perfect World print up buttons, bumper stickers, and all your other promo bumpus and get the word out: Don’t Attack the Helpless, Sometimes They Attack Back.

I smell a campaign kickback in my direction or at least maybe a concept spiff or something, something?

Newsday has an AP story up on their site about how, due to flooding and inefficient milling and processing facilities, North Korea is going to fall short about 1 million tons of food (http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/world/wire/sns-ap-nkorea-food-supply,0,7315306.story?coll=sns-ap-world-headlines). That’sa lot a food! I am sure it is Global Warming and it has nothing to do with how backward the nation is, how ineffective communism becomes when used as a political agenda and not a theorem of sociological structure, or the SEVEN missiles their exalted leader, dear president Kim Jong Il launched in defiance. Nope, I am sure it is Man Made Global Warming. If Rush Limbaugh did not exist there would be plenty of food left for the North Koreans even after Michael Moore and Al Gore get their mitts into it.

Floods, droughts, and dictators; what’s a World to do?

Oh, speaking of getting mitts into things and over all blovaters of non-realities. Does anyone remember me mentioning the fellow blogger who was convinced how crazy conservative Time Magazine was and how neo-con Joe Klein had become. I had the exact opposite view point. There is an article at Newsbusters about Joe Klein and his response to the ‘snowflake baby’ picture that Bush had taken after announcing his veto for federal funding to go to embryonic stem cell research (http://newsbusters.org/node/6549). I could go on and on about this subject but I will save it for it’s own post entirely (maybe Wednesday). The point here is Joe Klein and the over all non accomplished interview they transcribe at Newsbusters. The Nancy Pelosi quotes are hilarious and the over all interview tone is worth paying attention to. The only part of the interview that really hit anything that was going on in my head was uttered by Chrystia Freeland of the Financial Times and that was the conclusion to the transcript. I know a lot of people pass at the links and just read through but this is one that is worth checking out.

Well not as much as the one at the bottom of this ramble.

One quick mention of this as I see it very pertinent to the Israeli-Hizballah conflict, code named: Hot Ass. If this is something that interests you or frightens you or confuses you then you should check out the article about the lack of Lebanese innocence at Front Page Magazine by David Horowitz (http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=23485). It really breaks down, with a hefty dollop of honesty and clarity, the situation regarding the Lebanon and how Hizballah has infiltrated. This link is worth it as well but the best is saved for last.

I will be writing more about Horowitz’s article about Lebanon.

Again, there will be no test. No gold stars or scratch and sniff smiley faces either.

On Huffington Post is where I found this little gem of a parody that I thought some of you would find as funny as I and most of you would laugh your asses off. This ‘interview’ with V.P. Dick Cheney is well worth the couple of minutes needed to view it in it’s entirety. The voice is off but the over all wording is humorous and the ‘clip’ of Operation Mongoose is belly rolling.

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bob-cesca/video-exclusive-vice-pre_b_25675.html)

That will sum up my mix it yourself fountain drink of current events.

Wednesday I will pick one subject for a ‘big’ piece.

I started reading Tancredo’s “In Mortal Danger” and he starts chapter one with a very honorable quote:

“A Nation, as a Society, forms a moral person, and every member of it is personally responsible his Society.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

Hump days are getting better, so maybe I will have things to actually say …

As Sunday mornings go, this is not a good one. I was up before eight and the remodel crew down stairs started pounding, drilling, sawing and yelling just before nine. The only thing positive to come out of this Sunday thus far has been shaving. At least my Lady thinks it to be a very productive day.

Onto coffee and a morning smoke and the day has seemed to focus through the prism in just the right way. All of the color separation is pristine, precise, sharp. It has made skimming the news today and reflecting on what I had heard and read yesterday a really entertaining venture. Maybe getting up early every Sunday (and forgetting that childhood and young adult pleasure, sin, of sleeping in) is the way to go. I am not getting any younger. With my day of birth less than a week away maybe I should let go of another youthful vice - extraneous slumber.

No way in Hell that will ever happen!

This same sentiment can be carried over to my reading today.

Yesterday I had heard a story about President Bush’s doody, ka-ka, poo-poo, crap, shit, feces. An epic tale of doody lost and found and a struggle over one man’s decision to not leave a single poo behind. Porta-potties around the World swung there doors open in shock. Septic men everywhere dropped there pump hoses. Manufacturers of Drain-O nation wide are in denial.

I thought that maybe this whole story; about President Bush taking a private toilet with him where ever they went, that all of his toilet tissue was accounted for before and after any trip, that not one yellow drop stayed behind to suffer under the lens of scrutiny by any opposing or meddlesome force; it is of urban legend stature. So this morning I googled this hot, steamin’ topic and came up with two results that highlight the ultimate plethora I dug up over all.

The first that came up would fall in the category of supporting the Myth leaning side but in fact is the actual story being reposted (http://www.rense.com/general72/fexc.htm). Wayne Madsen reports that this business of top secret ka-ka is big and serious business. He pretty much sums up the facts and reports on the history of crap collection and then at the end compares Bush to Hitler. By the time you get to the last paragraph, you are thinking this guy is pretty legit, then POW! Worth reading anyway even though I have spoiled the surprise ending.

The second reference to it was the parroting of Paul Krassner at Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-krassner/excrement-in-the-news_b_24536.html). He puts up quotes from the Madsen piece but leaves out the juicy Hitler comparison at the end. Syrian President Hafez Assad fell prey to feces fetching by the clever minds in Israel at King Hussein’s funeral. We stole Gorby’s poo back in 1987. I never realized the money to be made by sewer acquisitions. I always thought Water Works was the worst Monopoly square.

If you think about everything that can be learned about someone through their bodily fluids than it is not such a surprise that these solids and liquids leaders excrete are so sought after. Disease, addiction, allergies, medications, DNA. With cloning being a hot topic in the news lately and the power of the dirt diggers, think what damage could be done. Regardless of anyone’s feelings towards George W. Bush, do you really want anyone knowing that sort of information about our leaders?

My answer is succinctly - NO!

If I shat in public, which I don’t, I would stop today. Private shitting only and hope they don’t know where you live.

On to some funny news regarding being shat on. Kim Jong has hit my radar once again (of course not with his Ding Dong II bottle rocket) but this time it is not Il but rather Nam. No not Vietnam, Kim Jong Nam. Dealing with South East Asia is much more confusing than it is dangerous. Let me see if I can lay this out a smidgen better and with a tad more concern for the reader.

http://www.korea-dpr.com/pmenu.htm

I was reading an article about lady’s man Kim Jong Il and his hot mama secretary that Kim is falling and fawning over these days. The 64 year old leader’s third wife, Ko Yong Hi, died in 2004 of cancer. Kim’s secretary has been living with him since and her name is Kim Ok. Seriously, that is her name. So now Exalted Leader Kim Jong Il looks to his woman and says Kim OK. If he is feeling Il he can just call her over and by doing so feel better just in the come hither call of her name. That devious little bastard has something there. I am putting out a casting call to anyone willing to ‘play’ my wife for a month and be called Richard OK. If the experiment works out I will be asking my Lady to change her name. Even if this is not Kim Jong’s motive, I think he has a good shot at a sitcom in prime time (CBS will be sure to pick this one up), ta-da … Kim &Kim on Thursday’s at 9. The zany antics of a pot bellied dictator who is left out of all the global games and seeks refuge in the arms of his Lady of the Same Name as their friendship guides them through the trials, guffaws, and tribulations of attempted Asian domination. It’s a mix of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Mad about You, Anything but Love, and Will and Grace but with a heavy hand against homosexuality because it upsets the exalted leader. I think CBS has a hit on their hands with Kim & Kim. I hope they call so I can pitch it too them face to face. Thursday primetime could some day be all about me.

Anyway, at the end of the article the reporter touches base on the lineage of leadership in North Korea upon the demise of Kim Jong Il. Kim has three sons (yet another great lead into a sitcom - I can hear the clarinets and see the toes tapping) and the honor of continuing the family business of dictator, I mean exalted leader - sorry Kim, usually would go to the eldest although the choice in the end is at the parting leader’s discretion. Here is where the problem lies. Kim Jong Nam is Kim Jong Il’s eldest son. At this time he has a current “fallen son” status as he was caught using a false passport to enter Japan to go to Tokyo Disneyland. I don’t know which is more hysterical: the falling of Nam due to Disney, the bizarre hypocrisy of a Korean going to Japan to ‘have fun’, or the fact that Tokyo Disneyland is still making enough of a profit to stay up and running (all I can picture is the ‘Disneyland Park‘ in Good Morning Vietnam which consisted of a poorly maintained pair of kiddy rides from a fair). Kim Jong Chul, son of Kim Jong Il and brother to Kim Jong Nam, will likely be the next North Korean leadership. Did daddy like himself that much or did he just idolize George Foreman with that amazing grill and boxing?

This brings me to Lt. Ehren K. Watada. I am sure that you are familiar with the story even if the name does not immediately ring a bell. He is the Army Lieutenant who has refused to go to Iraq upon being told that he was going to be deployed. He is currently doing desk duty at Fort Lewis with a few other soldiers that have refused to go but have not gone to the press, done interviews, and polarized the country once again with a feeble attempt along the lines of Cindy Sheehan. Lt. Watada is facing a court martial with punishments of dishonorable discharge, seven years in prison, and forfeiture of pensions and such. His charges are being filed as a consequence to his insubordination which included speaking out about his views on the Iraq war and talking to the press. Keep in mind that military law and protocol and freedom is much different than that of civilian and is done so for reasons of survival and success found within the well oiled and seamless fighting machine known as our armed forces. The military, though dismayed by the possible repercussions of similar protest action being taken, found a place for the handful of men who opposed going to war in Iraq and could keep their mouths shut. Lt. Watada couldn’t meet these very simple requirements that would have allowed him to continue his service, hold onto his pay, and avoid time in the hoosegow. He is now being charged. Actions have similar and opposite reactions. Choices have consequence. When are we going to learn that? We won’t if we keep going down this street.

There are numerous stories and websites designed to save Lt. Ehren K. Watada (http://www.thankyoult.org/ is one of them). I am sure there are charities and funds a brewin’. Someday your son or daughter will be able to get a grant or scholarship in his name if you meet the right level of hypocrisy and indecision to be approved. One of Lt. Watada’s reviews state that he has ‘insatiable appetite for knowledge’. It was this quenchless thirst that made him realize his deployment to Iraq was wrong and evil. The first two books he read to kick of his decent into the third circle of hell were:

“Chain of Command,” by Seymour M. Hersh which is about that horrible, horrible underwear hat wearing party known as Abu Grahib (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060195916/102-2407570-8984942?v=glance&n=283155).

~~~

James Bamford’s “A Pretext for War” which is about the neoconservative elitists controlling the World and the Middle East for the soul benefit of the Zionist State of Israel (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385506724/102-2407570-8984942?v=glance&n=283155).

If you are unfamiliar with these fine fireplace accessories please check them out and weigh in with some rational thought for ol’ Lt. Watada. You could simply just say, ‘Akuna Watada’!

The part that bothers me about this lad and his ‘insatiable appetite for knowledge’ is that his hunger never led him to learn more about the military and what he was committing to before signing the volunteer application. This guy was an Eagle Scout and by all accounts a very smart man. His own mother told him his actions were flushing his career ‘down the toilet’. Didn’t he know what his military commitment entailed? How could he have not known? Who are the puppeteers above the dancing Lieutenant? When will they cast him aside with cut puppet strings like they are doing string by painful string to Cindy Sheehan? Some would say he is no longer a military marionette. I say he is no longer a man with pride and dignity.

A man of dignity that will be sorely missed is Jack Warden (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0912001/) who died at the age of 85. Through his many roles in Television and Film we will all remember him for different reasons. I seem to remember him immediately from the T.V. program “Crazy Like a Fox” but his numerous movie roles always plague me through a good game of ‘Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon’ or a long Sunday of movie watching. We should remember a couple other facts about Mr. Warden whose life spanning from 1920 - 2006 included numerous jobs outside of his final vocation in the entertainment industry , as is the case with most people from his generation. Jack was a welter weight boxer, a merchant marine and in 1942 he enlisted in the Army. During training jumps, as a paratrooper in the 101^st Airborne Division, over Britain he broke his leg which prevented him from participating in D-Day. Once Jack was just getting better he was rip, roarin’ and ready to get back and was able to participate in the Battle of the Bulge.

“From Here to Eternity“, “12 Angry Men”, “Donovan’s Reef”, “Brian’s Song”, “Who Is Harry Kellerman And Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?”, “All the President’s Men”, “Heaven Can Wait”, “The Champ”, “The Great Muppet Caper”, “The Presidio”, the “Problem Child” trilogy, “Things To Do In Denver When Your Dead”, “Bullets Over Broadway”, and “The Replacements” are just a few of the amazing films he has been in and help make shine. You start out and you go to war and then you come back and live it out the best you can. Something is missing in the modern day equation of success. Something dreadfully needed is not in the bead’s abacus slide. The head corner stone is needed. The key is missing a tooth. Jack Warden will be missed and deservedly so. Thanks Jack Warden.

Hey! Yeah you, Lt. Watada! Watch a little Jack this weekend and realize what you’ve done. You have become Juror No. 7.

My Sunday is almost turning around. A little emotion rotary without finger sandwiches or out of state drivers.

Cape Ann! Calling Cape Ann! Someday. A few more trees are needed to hide.

Everything is bad even too much of the good.

There is a story by Ami Bender in the book “The Girl in the Flammable Skirt” where a woman’s boyfriend is de-evolving. One day she comes home to find him on a refrigerator shelve in a petri dish.

When I moved into my condo almost a year ago there were a few petri dishes in the fridge.

Hopefully I don’t revert back to one cell form before Monday.

It can’t happen anyway, I have no meat to grill …

I hardly ever go shopping and when I do it is a highly orchestrated event that is not permissible of anything remotely resembling a flat or sharp note. Follow the staff you shafts with hats. I grocery shop when I cash my check and since I was a graveyard clerk for Stop and Shop for half a decade, I know where everything is. When I go to purchase clothes or shoes, I am in and out of the store in minutes and I only do that, at the absolute most, twice a year. Anything I buy is done so with the greatest precision and efficiency. I am not a big fan of people or the places that they frequent.

For the past week I have needed to go pick up a new book or two which is something that I do about twice a year. I normally will purchase three - six books and then I really only need to shop again for a new title that I really, really want. Since most of what I read is old, “new title” shopping is really a rarity. Tonight turned out to be the realization of such an occurrence.

Keep in mind that I don’t like to do it.

I am not a big fan of stores.

It is hotter than the sphincter of Hades.

Real friggin’ hot.

Melt the horns from Lucifer’s head.

Hot.

I went in and immediately sped grazed the new hardcover table and the non-fiction rack. Nothing that I wanted or was looking for. I spotted my Lady searching her title and reminded her to hurry and that I would be in Politics/History. Bing! Two titles after a seven minute scan of the titles. In line, paid, small talk with cashier, and out the door in 18.5 minutes and that was with a purchase companion.

It was still hot out side. So hot that your breathe is sucked from your chest as you get in the car.

Pound. Heat. Pound. Putin. Hot. Pound. Pound. Putin. I couldn’t get the damn man from my head. Come on out Vova and make play fun, ok?

Vladimir’s voice has been in my head for a couple days. The translator. The news caster/reporter too. All of them juggling around the same image from ring to ring. They want me to know how silly it all is and learn a little more. All the talk from world leaders, presidents, dictators, ambassadors, their “covert” wives; you would think that we would just let them all speak and be heard. Let them be known to us, their ‘flock’, the other leaders, the world, as the men that their friends say is the best person for the job. Plain speak just keeps getting them in trouble because the limbo pole is set, default, at “read the speech but make it sound natural”. This is one of the very few bars that need to be lowered.

Kerry had the mic on. Bush. Clinton. Putin. Gorbachev. There are reels and reels given to us by Nixon. Can you imagine what either Roosevelt or Jackson would have come of sounding like if they had faced today’s modern petro-technology? Cheney tells people to go “fuck themselves”. Hey, way to go. They end up sounding like robots not dignitaries of oration’s excellence. So why not just let them verbally screw everything up in their native tongues?

As I sat in the car criss-crossing my thumb down the length of each books spine as I admire the titles and the weight of the written word, especially when it is new to you. I purchased a copy of “In Mortal Danger” by U.S. Congressman Tom Tancredo from Colorado. It is a really well put together hardcover that I know I will cerebrally devour. The second title, much to my dismay, was only available in paperback. Paperbacks don’t have the same feel as a hardcover unless there is a bus trip involved or an autumn hike into no where. I was happy, however, to have found a copy of this 2004 release entitled “How to Talk to a Liberal (if you must): The World According to Ann Coulter” by Ann Coulter. A hefty 462 page oversized paper back with print of a size that was intended to make even Superman blind after perusing a mere page or two. I suppose my summer reading is heavy but I also revisit the Warren Commission Report every summer as well.

Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes the nut feels like you.

Interrupting my purchase appraisal were the continued words of Vladimir Putin.

The other day, made famous by YouTube, the President Bush Shoulder Slam (as they are calling it along the professional wrestling circuit) was aired and the news channels picked it up as well as AOL front page news that morning. If you don’t know what I am talking about then you should google “Angela Merkel shoulder rub Bush” or some other reasonable facsimile and you should have no problem seeing it. While I watched stills of it being showed by the link slapping through AOL News that was required to get to the real story they talked about how other leaders and presidents have had similar contact problems that the press have caught. The final reference to this sort of sordid bizarre intimate molesting was to the Russian President Vladimir Putin lifting a small boys shirt and kissing his belly in the approximate area of the lad’s navel.

Go back and read that again. No, you really should.

Putin explained that the boy was just so cute that he wanted to “squeeze him like a little kitty”.

Okay, now go back and read that sentence again.

Did you read it?

Go read them together now.

Does Michael Jackson have a ruskie road show going on?

I am not sure about how squeezing, kitties, and juvenile navel kissing work out to make any sense but it is from the lips of a world leader.

In a Neil Buckley column in the May 13^th/May 14^th World News section of the financial Times Putin is quoted and meant to be perceived as an idiot. When he asked a Kremlin audience what the most important thing was and an audience member shouted ‘love’, Putin responded with, “I want to talk about love, women, and children, and about Russia’s most acute problem today - the demographic problem.”

Thank you Vova!

He then went on to tell the Russian people that upon having a second child that the Mother receives a 250,000 ruble ‘bonus’ and the family will receive a bump up in monthly state aid from 1200 to 3000 rubles. The Russian population is decreasing at a rate of 700,000 people per year. Fire up the ovens Red Mama, it’s time to butter the muffin, put a bun in the oven, and break some bread!

Dy-no-mite!

When asked recently about the criticisms that V.P. Dick Cheney verbalized regarding Russia, Vladimir said, “The statements of your Vice President … are the same as an unsuccessful hunting shot.” A world leader responded like that.

“I must break you”

So do I get upset when our President says ‘shit’? Do I marvel at the difference between public Kerry and private Kerry? Do I deny the known fact that Michael Jackson does not sound like that once you get to know him and you see the other side?

Answer to all above questions: FUCK NO!

We need leaders that are just going to speak. Learn what you need to know and be smart enough to know how to use it and when to use it. Speak like a real man. A smart man. A successful man. A man who does not need cue cards or teleprompters.

A leader.

Someone we can all follow.

They all speak out of turn because we expect them to always speak like State Head robots who couldn't talk their way into some bathroom directions.

Another shame.

Someday we will have leaders that go balls to the wall.

Until then we have the juggling Galchenko siblings.

Breakers of tossing records are everywhere.

Maybe by Monday I will have found one or two …

Meat of the matter, matter of the meat. Sharpen up my carving knife. This has to be a quick one.

Chinese food is calling and my brain awaits the MSG to plunder my dreams with the politics of the week and the dreaded scenario in the Middle East which I am now convinced that the land there is like the hot wife at the swingers party that you are hoping picks your car keys from the bowl as you order another Tom Collins.

The Conflict is now code named: Hot Ass.

There will be no quiz, so feel free to not take notes..

A lot has happened in the past year or two. The World has become a rather large and bloated, under funded day care center that we shouldn’t have the need for in the first place. One big mesh walled pen where the toys get divided. Hot of the play pen and into the fire.

Hotcha!

Did anyone catch the Arby’s story this week? The one where the man is finally arrested after twice masturbating in the drive through of an Arby’s, after ordering and paying , while waiting for his food? All that cheesy beef must have really had him “thinking’ Arby’s”!

There was the story this week out of Great Britain about the man who had gone to Turkey for an electronic erection implant that was illegal in England. His neighbor was creating inconvenient erections with his garage door opener. The erratic erection elector continuously called the authorities to take care of what he considered harassment.

Makes me think of Phil Collins and his matte puppet bald spot. This is the World we live in … on and on through my skull. Splash the water Ronnie.

I noticed something interesting in an advertisement the other day. The commercial was for windex and it featured those mischievous black crows closing glass doors and windows as a lark on a sunny day. Both crows appear to have white feathers on their stomachs and around their necks making it appear as though they were wearing “wife beater” undershirts. Another blow to the under garment industry.

And let us not forget the 5, or was it 6, year old child who recently accompanied his parents on a Vegas vacation. In the hotel he found a a used condom which he proceeded to pick up and begin chomping on like a big wad of wrigley's. Of course a law suit is being followed through with. We need lots of lawsuits.

Arby's, erections, underwear, and lawsuits. Typical progression, right?

Sounds like an L.A. Friday.

Cut!

Quality control people.

I am just trying to get back in the swing of things.

Calling Van Cougar-N’Degeocello:

Chinese Rice is calling …

I was shown the lyrics to “Shambala” by Three Dog Night after inquiring about it a post or two ago. I have injected my political parody into it’s lyrics and this is what came out:

~~~

All the way from Tehran, to the shores of Tripoli

You hear the words of Hizballah

Gaza Strip behind me, Cairo I can see

You hear the words of Hizballah

 

Ooooyyyyyy … vey!

Oy vey! Oy vey! Oy!***

*** - this part repeats twice after each verse.

 

“We only took, three of their ‘Dogs’”

Feel the wrath of Hizballah

“Take down Haifa, with our bombs”

Feel the wrath of Hizballah

 

Destroy all of Mankind

Fight a war with Hizballah

Destroy all of Mankind

Fight a war with Hizballah

 

Bomb Beirut, Damascus bound

Go to war with Hizballah

Iranian, connections found

Go to war with Hizballah

 

Destroy all of Mankind

Fight a war with Hizballah

Destroy all of Mankind

Fight a war with Hizballah

 

Various “oy”’s, “vey”’s, “oy vey”’s, and Hizballah’s until the fadeout.

 

I wrote a bonus verse which is as follows:

 

Lebanon says, "Jews move on"

We're in a war with Hizballah

Jews and Christians with Islam

We're in a war with Hizballah

~~~

The original set of lyrics can be found at:

http://www.threedognight.com/l_sham.html

Now onto serious matters …