Don Perata.

Sounds like a real innocent name, right?

Sounds like a healthy name, the name of a man that would require a bit of respect upon it’s mentioning.

Don Perata.

(http://democrats.sen.ca.gov/templates/SDCTemplate.asp?cp=MemberPage&pg=senhome&sln=Perata&sdn=09&zrn=Zone/)

Incorrect.

Don Perata is the President pro Tem to the California state Congress. He is a Democrat from the Oakland Bay area, East Bay specifically.

He is FUBAR.

I wrote recently, even if briefly, about Governor Schwarzenegger calling anti-ILLEGAL immigrant/pro-border protection voters as ‘prejudiced’. He made this statement after attending a San Diego county town hall meeting on the topic. It bothered a lot of Southern California residents and there were plenty being verbal about their disgust. This is important to the story as you read on.

There is a California State Senator named Gilbert Cedillo (http://democrats.sen.ca.gov/templates/SDCTemplate.asp?cp=MemberPage&pg=senhome&sln=Cedillo&sdn=22&zrn=Zone/). He is known as ‘One Bill Gil’. This is due to the fact that Gil, for the seventh consecutive year, is trying to pass a bill that would make available driver’s licenses for ILLEGAL immigrants. I know some of you think that offering up laminated documentation of residency is a way to justify the existence of ILLEGAL immigrants, as well as allowing the ‘purchasing of car insurance’ boondoggle to occur and fill up the pockets of insurance salesman statewide, but it never works the way we think it will when generosity is on the tips of our tongues. There is not one single ILLEGAL immigrant that is going to run out and grab up the insurance needed to operate a motor vehicle just based on the reception of a ‘license’. It will not happen. California voters have said over the course of six separate inspirations that it is not acceptable.

According to a Field Poll from February 2006, 52% of voters say to blow the ILLEGAL license out of Gil’s ass. Amongst Democrats the consensus was 47% - 47%. That goes to show that no one in California wants this incipient little piece of droll humanities exercise enacted as law.

The seventh son of the seventh son is being prepared for gubernatorial judgment, yet again. It will be interesting if it makes it to Arnold’s desk before or after the elections this fall.

MMMMMMMMM. Are you wondering like me? Nope. I didn’t think so.

Ok so this brings us to Don Perata. Nice and easy monikered, Don Perata.

Don was recently poised with the question of when the bill will hit the big desk in Sacramento. His response was, simply put, down right offensive.

Here is a lesson on how to make racism an acceptable avenue for playing the race card.

His statements are as follows:

“Immigration is a red meat issue. You've got all these crackers down in San Diego taking on the governor. Even the governor was shocked. Those aren't the people I represent. But there is no point in getting into a pitched, vocal battle with these people. ... If you start getting engaged with these people, you get tar all over yourself."

This quote is an abbreviated quotation of what I heard verbatim on audio. There were a lot more stutters, cackles from the press - yes I mean laughing, and some hesitation that made ol’ Don look like a cunt.

Let’s look at the word cracker, beyond it’s snack treat definition. There are numerous references in the San Francisco Chronicle’s three way feedback of linguistics (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/08/04/BAG7IKB9651.DTL&feed=rss.news). I would prefer to show you the couple I came up with, although the S.F. ones are not so far from the mark.

Rhyme Zone’s last definition is “a poor white person in the southern United States” (http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=cracker&typeofrhyme=def&org1=syl&org2=l).

Eight of the ten definitions on Urban Dictionary come up with some disparaging remark or reference to Caucasians (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cracker).

Free Online Dictionary defines ‘cracker‘ many different ways. In it’s last of three definitions the subtitle is ‘offensive’. The two sub definitions are:3. Offensive a. Used as a disparaging term for a poor white person of the rural, especially southeast United States. b. Used as a disparaging term for a white person (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/cracker).

Don has issued an apology. I am still repulsed. I cringe at the thought of this man being in a power role of any variety. I do not accept his “sorry” nor do I offer him the gratification of accepting a smile form me as I walk down the street. The man is cut from the most ignorant cloth in the world.

This man is under the gun barrel of investigation. Not only is the F.B.I. investigating his devious behavior and actions but the Department of Justice is as well. He is being probed for the acceptance of funds from Interest Groups regarding legislation to be passed.

Perata continued to say, "I don't want to give undue advantage in an election year to people I believe do not have the best interest of this democracy at heart, some of those people that I intemperately call crackers."

His apology was as follows: "Next time I come to Sacramento in August, I'll be sure to run the air conditioner," the statement said. "While I am concerned about the coarse and divisive tone used by a small minority in the driver's license debate, I believe that the vast majority on both sides are people of goodwill."

A real swell fella huh?

Keep in mind that ‘One Bill Gil’ is saying other ridiculous things that fuel the fire: "The debate is inflamed by extremist right wingers to the point of irrationality," he said. "It is inflamed by shock jocks on AM radio who beat and pound the issue every day to an ever-shrinking audience. They do not reflect the opinion of the people of California."

The radio station that Gil is referring to is 640 a.m. KFI in Los Angeles who, with their declining listener ship, has been rated number one in Los Angeles and the specific program the “John and Ken Show”  is a number one program in L.A. in their time slot.

Gil and Don are on their own ship. A ship that needs to refuel.

Many KFI listeners called in starting at the three o’clock hour trying to get their words heard and their points listened to. The effort, of course, was unsuccessful.

John and Ken have started a campaign to send Don Perata Saltines and I suggest you get a' sending (http://www.johnandkenshow.com/). Even if you are not in California - send them.

An African American caller was going to send chocolate graham crackers as a protest since she thought Saltine's to be to color specific.

Even she hates ILLEGAL immigration.

This is not a 'white' issue. It is an American issue. We need to stand up and not believe the hype spewed upon us by communist fronts and liberal hokie pokie machines hoping to pass what they want to as we sleep at the wheel.

Get up, Stand up!

One caller complained of an African-American call taker referring to the Caucasian caller as ’you people’.

By four o’clock the callers were being hung up on.

One hour is all it takes. It is all the government vampire needs to shut it’s coffin lid.

Throw me in a pine box - I want none of the bullshit that these boys shovel.

How many days til the World sings true again?

How many nights do I have to worry about our border?

It won't matter much what I say. I am a white amle who does not take payola. I am thinking of alot of nights. Alot of nights to fix it all.

Too many …

As I began to jot this little make up ditty that should have been done yesterday, I reflect on the news I have heard through the day and even scan quickly over what ever notes I have made regarding stories I want to write about or touch base on later in the day. I take the time normally to look up links to the stories that I write about so you, the reader, can have confidence that I am referring to real stories and also so you can look into the stories more at your leisure.

Tonight I was pretty much shit out of luck.

A bust.

I was a searching fool. A lot of what interested me just wasn’t coming up.

So this essay is entirely reference free. I can not link you. If you are curious abut one subject or another, google your brains out and then tell me what you have found.

Hopefully my mind will serve me right, along with my memory:

We will start out with the most disgusting and repulsive story of the day. Phillip Distasio (this is the ONLY story I found a link to via CNN, so I know I spelled his name right). Phillip Distasio. Arcadian Fields Ministries. This is the name of the church that he is a leader at. This is a sick and disturbed man who is currently facing 74 counts of rape, corruption through drugs and pandering obscenity to minors in Ohio. This whole story really nauseates me. I’m physically ill while I write this. Phillip is acting as his own lawyer and is quite proud of being a pedophile. Did you catch that, ‘proud’?

Distasio said, “"I'm a pedophile. I've been a pedophile for 20 years. The only reason I'm charged with rape is that no one believes a child can consent to sex. The role of my ministry is to get these cases out of the courtrooms."

Read that statement again. Phillip Distasio. Arcadian Fields Ministries.

Accusations have been made on behalf of two disabled boys who claim molestation and seven autistic children who have allegedly been raped. Only one of the children was over the age of thirteen.

Have you thrown up yet?

I have.

Story two is the crazy doctor who told the fat woman that “only black men” would like her becasue of her ass size and when asked by a recovering brain surgery patient about something to help her headache, he recommended a gun to blow out her brains, saying that “that would work”. It isn’t so much of a story when it is written next to the telling of Phillip Distasio. The doctor is allowed to be a prick to his patients if he wants to be. This is what has been ruled.  The repercussions and consequence of him being a douche bag is that eventually he’ll have no patients and if he wants to work in the field of medicine then he will be forced to subject himself to cadaver work in the morgue or a stint in the penile system, corrections that is. Maybe he will get to cure Distasio’s sniffles one day.

Bedside what?

I know with everything in Israel and Lebanon that, maybe I should be writing about that. I look at it as return after intermission or sitting down after the seventh inning stretch. The uncertainty of the extent of any future U.S. involvement since Afghanistan and Iraq put the party of Canaan on pause; a simple and very faux hiatus. The U.S. is wind dick waving and the party is set to eleven.

Can you hear me? Do you care?

I am much more concerned about Elvis’ teddy bear or Mel Gibson’s round of apologies ad infinitum.

I tried to google Wookie, Wooky, and Wuki Museum in Britain and could not find the story of the good guard dog gone bad. The new guard dog, who I think was named Howard, decided after he was on the job for about half a dozen nano seconds that eating the teddy bears and other stuff collectables that he was guarding was a great idea. Love me tender! Stuffing abound.

On a side note: I recently realized that Jesus and Elvis (from a sylabic and metre stand point) are interchangeable in songs. 'Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows but Elvis.'

And onto the Mighty Mel. As I wrote here, I have been very, very suspicious about this whole story from the get-go. I am not sure what to believe at this point. From what I understand the original 5,000 dollar bail was not really put up but rather it was a rumor. I never understood the bail to begin with. Now they are saying that Rob Schneider is so appalled that he ran a full page in Variety today that says he will never work for any project having anything to do with Mel Gibson. At the bottom of the ad he plugs his new movie “Big Stan”. Thinking for sure that this was an over the top reaction to some drunken off the cuff words that are protected by the same amendment that let Schneider run the ad to begin with, I dug a little deeper. Shazam! Schneider did the same thing a year ago to promote “Duece Bigalow: European Gigolo” but that time his ad was directed at L.A. Times reporter Patrick Goldstein. It’s just proof that I should be watching a little more C-Span and a little less CNN or Fox.

By the way, Time Magazine reports that Mel did have previous D.U.I. in 1984 while filming in Toronto. This is when he became devout to his faith in order to battle alcholism.

From Willie-Nillie to Willie Nelson. Time magazine gave this weeks "Ten Questions" to Willie Nelson. When asked about his biofuel, BioWillie, he said, “My wife came to me three or four years ago and wanted to buy this Volkswagen Jetta and put biodiesel in it. It sounded like a big scam. I said, ‘You been in my Maui-Wowie again.’ But she bought the car, and it gets good mileage and the tail pipe smells like French fries.”

Save some of the Wowie for me Willie, please?

I’ll touch base on some more fun and fodder from Time tomorrow but one more nook and cranny to butter before I go.

Mako died this past week at the age of 72. All the amazing actors are on their way out. It is like watching T-Rex go anorexic and collapse. Good-bye real actors, Hello Matt Damon and Ben Asslick, I mean Affleck. Some of you might remember him from the film “The Sand Pebbles” but I remember him from the Dino DeLaurentis productions of Conan. Mako was the wizard and what a wizard he was. A little moment of silence would be appreciated by not only his fans but, I am sure, his spirit as well.

Hopefully my google google’s better tomorrow. I sure hope so. I don’t want to present as a hack.

Although I know where that door leads.

Laugh it up, laugh it up.

Calling Herb Stempel, Herb Stempel you have a telephone call ...

With my impending 29 day stay in the county jail peeking around the corner at me, I figured I would share a great story of love lost and found - the incarcerated way.

Just recently the L.A. Times (http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-redstall1aug01,0,3378018.story?page=1&coll=la-home-headlines) printed an article about a bit part actress/traffic reporter stalker, Victoria Redstall, and a depraved slice ‘em, dice ‘em sociopath, Wayne Adam Ford, and the love they share.

I am dedicating a whole essay to this little amusement of reality as I, honestly, believe this warrants a great deal of attention and, quite possibly, some inward reflection.

I know I am pondering more about my future room mate now then I was before hearing of this tale.

Once again, no testing will be required.

Wayne Adam Ford (http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/predators/wayne_adam_ford/index.html)was a long-haul trucker from Northern California who had a taste for murder, torture and mutilation. His last victim was Patricia Anne Tamez who was a 29 year old prostitute soliciting John’s in Victorville California. She was found, a couple days after her run in with Wayne, in the California Aqueduct with one of her breasts cut from her torso. This is the missing link that Wayne produced upon arriving at the Humboldt County Sheriff’s office in Eureka. It was in a sandwich bag inside his pocket.

This began the tale telling of terror known as the actions of Wayne Adam Ford. He had begun the story years before with his first murder. Wayne was a marine who was discharged in the mid ‘80’s due to ‘mental problems’. He was a violent man by any man’s standards. He shot his own dog to death in his back yard. He was charged with and found guilty of animal cruelty charges. Being shot is pretty cruel.

In all he abducted, raped, tortured, murdered and dismembered four women; three prostitutes and one hitchhiker.

This past June he was convicted of four counts of first degree murder. Monday was the start of the penalty phase. I hope they let ravenous buzzards pick and peck him to death, although that would still not be enough.

Enter Victoria Redstall.

If you have boob insecurities and you are looking to firm up and plump out without surgery, then you probably know who she is. She is the ‘celebrity’ spokesperson for Grobust.

If you don't believe me just go and google 'Grobust', or any variation. Go ahead, I'll wait. Anyway ...

At Herb Shop’s website (http://www.herbshop.com/grobust_victoria_redstall.htm) they explain that she is getting fantastic results with her use of Grobust. They also say she is a day time star on ‘Sunset Beach’. Her resume does not include said ‘gig’ but she did have a bit part in ‘The Rock’ and ‘Nothing to Lose’ (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0715174/).

I suppose it doesn’t matter how pathetic her career is or how insecure she is regarding her mammalian protuberances; she is in love with a man she can trust with her life.

Wayne and Victoria, sitting in a tree.

I know the irony, itself, is overwhelming.

A breast thief with a breast pusher. We live in an amazing world. To think that E-Harmony didn’t fix up this match made in heaven is amazing. It is such a match.

Their love made the news due to her presence during the hearings which had become disruptive. The judge needed to validate her 'press credentials'. She had claimed that she was there to make a documentary. Even though she provided the judge with paper work showing her movie making proof, she was not let back into court. Her picture was even posted as a reminder to court officials and officers not to let her in. She wants a copy of the photo.

After all of her friends gave her the usual rubbish conversations and lectures about dating a serial killer, she responded by saying, “We've all got evil in us — all of us. He took it to the extent of killing humans…. But I'm going on the man he is today and the remorse that he has today."

Every officer that has dealt with him, every interviewer, has said that he has absolutely no remorse and that he is the purest definition of evil there is.

What’s not to love?

Victoria told the press that his visits with her are the moments of light during his dark days. After getting to know each other through the glass of detention she sent him Dwight Yoakam lyrics when he could not remember them. This made Wayne a real happy feller. If only Vicky had been there before all the blood and body parts and pocket sized breast bags. Vicky knows supplements work much better than breast bags and she knows her country music.

Ahhhhh, that Bakersfield sound.

Victoria is also known around Los Angeles as the crazy gal who LOVES traffic reporter/pilots. She is a stalker of sorts. Mike Nolan, of KFI 640 a.m. Los Angeles - "KFI in the Sky", has common friends with Victoria and describes her as being a "gregarious young woman". I think that is traffic reporter speak for ‘crazy ass nut job’. Maybe I am wrong.

She became so obsessed with media pilots that she was cited for standing on her balcony, scantily clad, attracting helicopter and small aircraft attention. She would do this over and over again. It is rumored that she used a common radio frequency to communicate with the pilots and ease along the coaxing.

A regular Juliet, huh?

I take back ever, for a moment, thinking that I might be wrong.

Crazy ass nut job!

I will be in county jail from August 11th through September 10th for a D.U.I. that happened last September 18^th. I was not in an accident or driving reckless. I had expired tags. Not only am I a moron for having had drinks of an alcoholic nature before driving but for also driving with bad tags. Moron is to put it lightly.

I will not con some busty busted bust-a-lot hawker into a love-me style support group or cult.

I am hoping that I do not see anyone like Wayne while I am ‘inside’.

I am thinking I will be just fine.

Mistakes are made and choices are had, along with the repercussions and consequences.

I own up to the aforementioned.

Nothing in my pocket to get me in.

A whole lot of lessons learned while I am there …

I will return tomorrow.

I resolved my legal issues today.

I am off for my vacation with the county come August 11th.

I will return writing tomorrow.

Alot of writing will be laid down before my thirty day departure.

I will be well.

I will write better.

Especially on Wednesday.

Let the hump BEGIN ...

Yesterday I turned 31. I have never felt too moved by a change of age. Yesterday I was and continue to be today. I have had a receding hairline forever. The recession is on pause for now. When I was a pre-teen I wanted to be the guy on the Seagram’s Wine Coolers commercials. Damn you Bruce Willis! I have my grays, all over my head, and at this point half of my beard is white, not gray - white.

All of my big milestone birthdays so far have just been passing rites that I pretty much passed on participating in. When I determined the massive influx of responsibility for everyone starting around sixteen in comparison to the amount of time and energy and effort and expense of freedom in order to ‘handle’ said responsibility, I decided that any birth day beyond sixteen was a drag. I came up with this ‘stellar’ theory when I was 14 or 15.

Sixteen - big deal! Eighteen - whoopee - voting and cigarettes! My 21^st birthday was spent having two 7&7’s at a sailor’s bar in Gloucester MA the night before my ex-wife killed my first child. It certainly was not bar hopping in Boston, to say the least.

It was then that birthdays officially became a ‘who gives a fuck’ holiday that I just don’t care too much about or have any expectations of.

Turning thirty last year was just another day. Just another ‘whatever’ day.

As of yesterday, I actually feel older. I actually look older. It is as if a decade of time at fallen from the sky and landed square on my head. I will get over it or become complacent with my new outlook of my age. It just feels different. Somehow I am back to square one with too much to ponder.

I received a coffee maker for my big day from my Lady and my boss took me out to lunch and threw an extra fifty bucks into my paycheck. Over all not a bad day.

Last night I treated myself to sushi with my Lady who does not eat sushi but rather prefers a good bowl of Miso soup and a salad. No table or teppan yaki (although they have them), we went straight to the sushi bar. I was a glutton. I ate and ate and ate and ate. It was a mastication marathon.

I will give it to you ‘Lunch With The FT’ style:

New Shogun

Mission Viejo, CA

1x Edamame

1x House Salad

1x Miso Soup

1x Dynamite Roll

1x Caterpillar Roll

1x Rainbow Roll

2x Tekka Maki

1x Volcano Roll (Tomago broiled Scallops served over cold California Rolls with Smelt Egg)

2x Large Asahi

1x Large Hot Sake

Total w/ tip: $65.00

I do like my sushi. I used to eat far more than that when I would go in my youth. Many more beers and so many more hot sake. With each glass of beer I used to drop in a raw Quail’s Egg. Sushi for me used to be quite a production. I would easily, in the past, have dropped over 200 dollars for two. I am growing more meek and mild with time. I know what I like better these days and I know what effort is worth giving to get those results.

This morning I woke up much earlier than normal. Yes, another early Sunday. I felt the same way about my age. It had not changed. Although the carriage became a pumpkin again, Cinderella still remembered the Ball. I thought of how nice it was to have had a great dinner. How nice it felt to go to bed early with the air conditioning blasting away. I started thinking about how politics applied to sushi. Frighteningly it began to make a lot of sense, I mean A LOT of sense.

Stick with me on this, it is worth it.

Step back and swing the big ol’ crazy brush like Bob Ross knifing on some Titanium White for the back ground of the snowy field. Politics, as a theorem and structure, is needed to set up and fuel a government and civilization. Sushi, as a food - keep it general - food, is needed to build and fuel a person and society.

Are you with me or did I make you think I was so nutso that you have already stopped reading?

Ok zoom in a bit closer. Politics , as general association to ideals, laws, and morals, can be broken down into parties. Of course we all know that. Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green, American Socialist Workers, Independent. When looking at sushi ,we can make the breakdown of it from a general ‘food’ to a more specific but still segregated ‘Asian food’. So, someone who cares for Indian may hate Thai. Someone who craves Cantonese may be repulsed by the thought of eating sushi. A sushi lover may hate Vietnamese, Persian, or Schezuan. It is very individual to each person but all of those cuisine lovers are still eating ‘Asian food’. Democrats and Republicans are both playing politics.

When measuring up political play you are really taking into consideration the amount of time, energy and passion as well as interaction spent with the topics. How much news do you watch? Do you vote? When voting do you vote for everything, on every ballot? Do you research the policies, legislation and people that you are voting for? Do you not vote because you do not take the time to research? How many news sources do you use to get your information? Do you look at global, national, or both? Do you read the Sports section? Do you follow the market? Do you volunteer for your party, a candidate, or a committee trying to get legislation passed? Do you write your congressman? Do you know your who your Congressman is? Do you know what your Congressman has done?

How much do you participate in something that effects you in some way or another everyday?

You can pretty much sum up the dedication of a sushi eater. You can tell how much commitment they have to their love of sushi. The timid eater munching on California Rolls and Tempura is comparable to the person who catches news here and there on the radio or through co workers and doesn’t really watch the news.

The more adventurous connoisseur will be delighting in their raw rolls of pretty colors such as Rainbow Rolls or Alaska Rolls and smacking their lips as they chow down every little speck of salmon. Sometimes I think this level of eater to be like a grizzly bear smacking around in the river. Anyhow, this is the nightly news watcher who reads at least one Sunday Paper or reads the weekly daily editions, maybe even subscribes to a magazine or two. At least you can talk sushi with this person and say ‘Tekka Maki’ and not have to say ‘Tuna Roll.’

That brings us to the fanatic. The guy who eats everything. You can have an exception or two of distaste - mine are Sea Urchin and Abalone: I do not care for either of them - but you have to know about and have tried everything else that is going on. You don’t know if you like something until you’ve tried it - mother’s with vegetables and leather clad women with whips around the world rejoice and unite at me having said that and agreed with you!

The politico like this is a consumption machine. Watches AND enjoys C-Span. Reads more than three newspapers daily and reads news online on at least 10 different sites. Investigates everything they vote on and debate. Writes letters and tries to make a difference for what they believe. Every bite of a topic is another delicious culinary opportunity to explore again. The day of this person is news, news, news, and then a little more news. Most people are not like this armchair pundit/sushi glutton.

The last and worst is the denier. Someone who does not even try sushi. Someone who will not even donate 10 minutes of a week to brush up on the news unless it is in Glamour or People or GQ or Playboy. Both love to talk about something that they hate so much that they nothing about it. On and on and on.

“God, how could you eat that?”

“It smells like an aquarium in here!”

“News is just so depressing”

“I have no control over what happens so who cares, it’s a waste of time!”

“It’s the President’s fault”

That last one could be saying that about any of our Presidents, ANY of them, and still be held in the same regard as the other blind hatred statements.

I think most people are of the first type. They’ll eat tempura. They’ll eat California Rolls. Headlines and water-cooler speak can work for now, if something major happens someone will alert their e-mail. Life is more than safety through ignorance.

Saying 'Tuna Roll' to an expert and expecting Tekka Maki is a mistake, a door way into a conversation of which level of tuna and part of tuna do you want for there are so many types you would be surprised.

I have learned what I like to eat and just recently have learned to stop and enjoy what I am so desirously wanting to devour. I have my moods of consumption but I never rule anything out. There are maybe about 6 things that I will not eat and that is from a category of global proportions.

You must eat. You have to be able to grasp what is going on around you and know what you are talking about.

Tables must be sat at, in both instances. Don't forget your napkin.

Some people say 'they rather starve'.

I am an eater. I eat.

Blow the smoke caterpillar, I want some more river eel …